


Four

by ssyou



Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hurt and comfort, Im such a youngdongpopang trash, M/M, Sewoon and Gwanghyun friendship, and sewoon's post it when he missed pang, did i say hurt and comfort, of course there's always pacaponyo in my fic, pacaponyo, popang friendship, that weekly idol preview
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 20:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12417522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssyou/pseuds/ssyou
Summary: It was 2AM and Sewoon wasn't home yet.





	Four

Gwanghyun washed the dishes carefully as not to disturb the other boys. The monthly evaluation was near. Everyone was trying their hardest and making the most of their time left to improve, to be better, to be good enough to debut. Sleep was a luxury. That was why he couldn't take that away from them.

But Gwanghyun couldn't fall asleep.

He was in the verge of collapsing though. His eyes felt hot, his breaths heavy, his head achy, and his body sore all over. The only thing that kept him up was _Sewoon-hyung isn't home yet_.

He kinda expected it to happen, him seeing his hyung less and less. The moment they hugged that night, he knew that he couldn't follow that broad back to where only the tops allowed. All loneliness aside, he was happy. If there was anyone who deserved love and happiness in this world, it must be Sewoon-hyung. If Gwanghyun wanted to end this longing of meeting an old friend, then he must be the one to make the time. Don't get in Sewoon-hyung's way. Don't burden him. Support him. Be someone he can count on. Be someone good enough. _Be his chair_.

Too deep in thought, he didn't realize that someone opened the door and came to the kitchen until a hushed voice sounded from his left side.

"Hey, Lee Gwanghyun, why aren't you sleeping yet?" which scared the living hell out of him, making the plate he was washing slip and fall on the sink with a very, loud, sound. So much for not disturbing the boys. Luckily nobody woke up. Too tired to be alive right now, maybe.

Gwanghyun held his curse and let out a relief sigh, thanked God that the older was finally home. His heart was still racing though. After rewashing the plate and turning off the tap, he faced his favorite hyung and smiled his sunshine smile.

"Welcome home, hyung. I intended to after washing the dishes, but now I'm hungry. I'll sleep after some midnight snack," he then opened the cupboard and took a ramen cup, "you want one?"

Sewoon shook his head. "Nah, I already ate. Why did you wash the dishes at this time anyway?" he asked and watched his junior nod and went to pour boiling water into the ramen cup.

“I went to the bathroom and took a glass of water in the kitchen, only to remember that I forgot to wash them this morning. I wasn’t sleepy anymore, anyway,” Gwanghyun sat on the kitchen chair then, waiting for the noodle to soften. Sewoon followed through, and he realized that the older hadn't even put his bag before he pulled a chair beside him and sat silently.

"Hyung, you should take a re-"

"It's 2AM," Sewoon looked at Gwanghyun's eyes sharply, that even through his bang the younger could see that his hyung's eyebrows must be furrowed, disagreed over something he couldn't understand. 

"It's 2AM and you're not sleeping, instead making a ramen even though you're not hungry. Don't even lie to me, because that is not your hungry face," Sewoon took a breath and held a stop motion with his hand when Gwanghyun was about to retort. “And you hadn’t gone to sleep before either. See, that is your sleep-deprived face.”

Gwanghyun's mouth was agaped and he gawked like a hamster he was.

"How do you ev-"

"What's wrong?" Sewoon cut him off and put his arm on the younger's shoulder. "What's on your mind? Tell me?"

Gwanghyun seemed taken aback. Of all people, Sewoon-hyung could read him better than his own parents combined. He never thought he was that easy to read. Sometimes he even couldn’t read himself. Was that a treat of songwriters though, reading people better than themselves?

He tried not to think about the warmth on his shoulder. It would only make it easier to say what he was thinking. Being near Sewoon was tempting enough to spill an honest answer. The thought of doing just that to get a pat and a warm hug as rewards crossed his mind. But, Sewoon’s hearty laughs that day (they called him this afternoon, Youngdongpopang minus Pang, he didn’t cry, no) and the word _burden_ suddenly came crushing down, always ready to remind him his place. The older’s kind eyes kept looking at him though. They were still waiting for an answer. Gwanghyun coughed and took his ramen cup to check the noodle, looking at anything but his hyung.

“It’s, it’s just monthly evaluation, Hyung. I’m kinda nervous. You know how I’m like when it’s nearing,” Gwanghyun took the chopstick and stirred his ramen. He tried not to move his left arm around too much, not wanting that hand to move from his shoulder just yet. “We still need a little bit work. But it should be fine, I hope,” the younger gave a slight smile though still not looking at his hyung. The addition of Park Hyunjin to their team was good. Gwanghyun could see why the boy won that Kpop Star program. The only thing he couldn’t see was the reason why Starship even chose a Lee Gwanghyun. His talent was just not good enough. It was never good enough. Why-

Okay, stop. Not helping.

Sewoon gripped the younger’s shoulder a bit tighter, trying to give him confidence and strength he knew his junior needed.

“You’ll be fine, really. Practice never betrays us,” Sewoon told him. Gwanghyun nodded while stil stirring at his ramen. “Stop staring at the ramen, Gwanghyunnie. Look at me,” the older said while moving his face so he could see the younger better. Gwanghyun bit his lip and turned to return his hyung’s gaze after some time, “What?”

Sewoon gave the younger his secret smile, almost like the one he did after the producers complimented Youngmin-hyung’s singing, proud and knowing and loving. He moved his hand that was on the younger’s shoulder to the inside of his arm. The grip was gentle but sure, like the way he was looking at Gwanghyun right now.

“You have to believe in yourself,” Sewoon smiled wider then. “Just like I always believe in you.”

The sudden tears that formed in Gwanghyun’s eyes was predictable. As much as he hated his dongsaeng crying, he felt that the boy needed it right now. Gwanghyun disobeyed his hyung to look down at his knee, teeth biting his lip so hard to prevent a sob. The hand that was holding the ramen cup now moved to his face, fingers wiping the tears that fell down. Sewoon took that hand, placed it on his knee, then angled his body to make room to hold one precious boy. Which was crying pearl tears right after Sewoon put his hand on the younger’s head and pull him into a hug, forehead on his broad shoulder.

“I want to be with you, Hyung,” Gwanghyun said between the silent sobs, “I want to be with you and Youngmin-hyung and Donghyunnie too,” he told his hyung again, the warm hand and soft pats on his head only made it harder for him to calm down. “I want to be good enough and not missing you,”

Sewoon might hold the younger a bit tighter, those last words bite a little closer to home. He admitted those last words were on his mind too, that he had been thinking how nice it would have been if Pang were there too, how amazing they would’ve been.

“That’s why I told you to believe in yourself, stupid. You are good enough and will be better. Don’t forget your love for music, because it’s the one that will help you to be better,” Sewoon told Gwanghyun gently. The younger was still sobbing silently, although his shirt was like a wet mess there. “And just so you know, we miss you like crazy too.”

Wrong move. Gwanghyun was full on sobbing now. The other boys might wake up. But Sewoon didn’t care about that right now. He full on rubbed the younger’s back, warming him and his hand and maybe it would calm his mind too.

 

They stayed like that for ten minutes straight, until Gwanghyun’s sobs became a silent hic and Sewoon’s arms became too numb. It was another five minutes when Gwanghyun finally pulled back and looked at his hyung with puffy eyes. The corners of his mouth was slightly turned down but he braved himself to say these words.

“Do you really believe in me?”

Sewoon faced his dongsaeng and nodded.

“Completely. So do Youngmin-hyung and Donghyunnie.”

Gwanghyun bit his lip then. It wasn’t funny if he started crying again. He let out a sigh instead, then stared at his hyung’s eyes hopefully.

“Wait for me, yeah?”

Sewoon held his breath, looked back and nodded as sure as he knew this morning the sun would shine.

“Always.”

Gwanghyun finally gave him a smile then.

 

Turned out the sun shined earlier today.

 

-

 

“Why did you come home so late, anyway? What were you doing in the studio?”

“Hmm, I just felt like it. I made this song. A whole song. Just, I don’t know. I got a lot of inspiration,”

“Was it because you meet Youngmin-hyung? Donghyunnie told me you were dancing to Gashina and made Youngmin-hyung curse. No one heard it though, even Doni Coni sunbaenims,”

“Curse? Eh, why?”

“He said because you were too freaking cute,”

Sewoon coughed and spit his water onto the kitchen table. Gwanghyun was still smirking at him.

“You two didn’t happen to sneak behind while everyone was on the break and make out somewhere hidden, did you? Because hyung, there’s a red spot below your jaw. I made sure not to touch it when I cried on your shoulder as well,” he gave a mischievous smile then, not even embarrassed to admit he had been sobbing one hour earlier, lil brat. “And don’t even lie to me, because that is not your annoyed I-got-bitten-by-mosquitos face, that is your happy I-got-bitten-by-Im Youngmin face. Congrats, hyung. Now, when will we get to hear that sappy song of yours? Is title equally cheesy like our Oh My Goddess? Wait, if it’s for a boy should it be Oh My God?”

Sewoon didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or corrected the younger’s English or went to sleep and not wake up until doomsday but right now he needed the brat to Shut. Up.

 

This brat.

**Author's Note:**

> i told you, i miss pang.
> 
> inspired by this twit https://twitter.com/sewoooon/status/919158326079791104
> 
> damn now i'm emo.


End file.
